For a long time I believed that there was something lacking in me because so many would be unhappy because I didn't live up to their expectations. So what do they do? They blame me, of course, for all their miserableness. I did not know I held that much power. But, living and learning has brought me to the realization that it's all a bunch of nonsense. I am not guilty of anything, and certainly not obligated to anyone's judgement of me. I have been amazed on how one-sided or one minded people can be without even deciding what their own mind dictates. Certainly, they must have some introspection as well. But don't bet on it.
Over time, I have spoken to a lot of spiritual people. I've gained a lot of insight into myself. What I have learned is that I am a good soul and pretty much have kept my karma in good standing. I know some others haven't, but that is not a joy to me, just a pity. You know, if I could open up the doors to people who have themselves locked into a cell (real or imaginary) I would. However, as many have told me, you cannot save others, only yourself. This is true and, unfortunately, you really can't transmit knowledge of what you've learned to another. They have to find out things by themself.
I found out that I could never do a good thing according to people who only want to see the bad in me. But, there is not that much bad, so it becomes a puzzle, and one to be solved like so many others that I attempt to understand. I find myself asking myself if my take on things is really delusion or am I really on the right road of truth and clarity? I think it's clarity because, after all, if you approach yourself honestly, your whole world opens up. The people who can't do this fool themselves and, think they are o.k. with their own illusions. They aren't really. They just want you to think they are.
Anyway, I will end this now and return when I have more tidbits for you to consider. Until then, be happy. You have a right to this you know.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
The Scientific versus the Supernatural
It occured to me that I have written some pretty fantastic things on my blogs. Things that, if I hadn't experienced first hand, would not normally believe. Thus, I think some clarification is in order. I think that reality can be broken down to the seen and unseen, which fluctulation between the two. Certainly there are people out there who believe in God. Yet, scientifically, God is an unproven existence. Science is really the study of verifiable information of the visible world. Supernatural is the study of the invisible world and verification is always very difficult. Because one believes in ghosts though, in my mind, is no less valid that believing there's a doorknob on the front door or pepperoni on the pizza.
Aside from going through some wild trials, I think your understanding of what "all" is becomes all expansive. I do want to make an important distinction in what reality is to different people. Certainly I could sit here and tell you of certain events that I've been through - but I do this from only my personal aspect and without the help of anyone else influencing me. Then there are those that contour reality to fit into their beliefs. And some of them are influenced by others. So, at best, their reality is stilted.
It has always been my goal to seek truth, no matter what form it may appear to me. And one must be courageous to accept all that you find. Being accurate and honest is not always easy. On the flip side, there are those that are in utter fear of the truth and will do anything, or say anything, to escape any scutiny. That is all fine and o.k. with me as long as I'm not dragged into the game. But, as I've said before, my goal now is to be non-judgemental. There is a reason for everything and all things get balanced out in the end.
Aside from going through some wild trials, I think your understanding of what "all" is becomes all expansive. I do want to make an important distinction in what reality is to different people. Certainly I could sit here and tell you of certain events that I've been through - but I do this from only my personal aspect and without the help of anyone else influencing me. Then there are those that contour reality to fit into their beliefs. And some of them are influenced by others. So, at best, their reality is stilted.
It has always been my goal to seek truth, no matter what form it may appear to me. And one must be courageous to accept all that you find. Being accurate and honest is not always easy. On the flip side, there are those that are in utter fear of the truth and will do anything, or say anything, to escape any scutiny. That is all fine and o.k. with me as long as I'm not dragged into the game. But, as I've said before, my goal now is to be non-judgemental. There is a reason for everything and all things get balanced out in the end.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Prayers for the Misbegotten...
I had another post but deleted it because it sounded too much like the previous one. And, if there is something I do NOT want to do is go over the same ground twice. After all, do you want to read what you've read before? Then again, I am older and I do have a forgetful brain now and then so forgive me if I lapse.
There are a few things I should relate in this one though. I have discovered, through trial and error, that I am very susceptible when it comes to negative energy surrounding me. That is, it is like a poison. I never realized that, through many years in my life, my depressions were really reinforced by the negative vibrations people were giving off in my direction. Now that I've discovered that, I view my past, present, and future with more clarity. It's hard to explain. But you get wiser to what's going on and, that doesn't mean it's good, but you can avoid the bad if you know what I mean.
I am thrown by life sometimes. I see too much of what I don't value succeeding somehow. Could I be wrong? I mean, I have never been one to be a user, in other words, take all I can get from someone and then discard them like yesterday's newpaper. I see so much manipulation out there and people who do this. Did I miss something in my upbringing? Is there something wrong with my morality? Should I be out there taking advantage instead of valuing people, wishing them the best, and everybody being happy? I suppose it boils down to what some people want and what they are willing to do to get it and everyone else be damned. I have never seen that as an admirable trait but, then again, that is just me.
I was involved, for a period of time, in a game called "you hurt me, I hurt you" and round and round ad infinitum. I found out that no matter how justified and right you are, your actions are open to projecting to people just how horrible you are. It's manipulation of course, but sometimes we inadvertantly allow us to fall victim to this. It's an abuse of vision, of course, but to allow it to go on unquestioned is to deny just how inappropriate it is. Thus, I think the wiset thing to do, for me, is not to care about what others think. If they are misled to think what others want them to think, then far be it from me to burst the illusion. But, there is something more at work which, I will probably discuss at some later date.
The point for me, which is very crucial at this point, is to be non-judgemental and try to understand the world and why people do things the way they do. I am interested in psychology and have read many things that clarify human mysteries. I do this to better myself and to understand. But, I want to reach a level whereby all of this craziness in the world is outsie of myself. To reach a spiritual and mental place whereby all this doesn't matter and I am free to pursue a higher mind. Mind you, it is not easy. Life will give you many trials but the point is to move forward at any cost. I am over being used, and I love it. Thus, the place I arrived at is getting better and better, especially since my mind has progressed way beyond where I used to be. Anyway, I will be back and probably write more things that you'll either understand or be mystified by. A friend of mine once said some words of wisdom to me, it was "when you change, everything changes". How true. I keep changing for the better.
There are a few things I should relate in this one though. I have discovered, through trial and error, that I am very susceptible when it comes to negative energy surrounding me. That is, it is like a poison. I never realized that, through many years in my life, my depressions were really reinforced by the negative vibrations people were giving off in my direction. Now that I've discovered that, I view my past, present, and future with more clarity. It's hard to explain. But you get wiser to what's going on and, that doesn't mean it's good, but you can avoid the bad if you know what I mean.
I am thrown by life sometimes. I see too much of what I don't value succeeding somehow. Could I be wrong? I mean, I have never been one to be a user, in other words, take all I can get from someone and then discard them like yesterday's newpaper. I see so much manipulation out there and people who do this. Did I miss something in my upbringing? Is there something wrong with my morality? Should I be out there taking advantage instead of valuing people, wishing them the best, and everybody being happy? I suppose it boils down to what some people want and what they are willing to do to get it and everyone else be damned. I have never seen that as an admirable trait but, then again, that is just me.
I was involved, for a period of time, in a game called "you hurt me, I hurt you" and round and round ad infinitum. I found out that no matter how justified and right you are, your actions are open to projecting to people just how horrible you are. It's manipulation of course, but sometimes we inadvertantly allow us to fall victim to this. It's an abuse of vision, of course, but to allow it to go on unquestioned is to deny just how inappropriate it is. Thus, I think the wiset thing to do, for me, is not to care about what others think. If they are misled to think what others want them to think, then far be it from me to burst the illusion. But, there is something more at work which, I will probably discuss at some later date.
The point for me, which is very crucial at this point, is to be non-judgemental and try to understand the world and why people do things the way they do. I am interested in psychology and have read many things that clarify human mysteries. I do this to better myself and to understand. But, I want to reach a level whereby all of this craziness in the world is outsie of myself. To reach a spiritual and mental place whereby all this doesn't matter and I am free to pursue a higher mind. Mind you, it is not easy. Life will give you many trials but the point is to move forward at any cost. I am over being used, and I love it. Thus, the place I arrived at is getting better and better, especially since my mind has progressed way beyond where I used to be. Anyway, I will be back and probably write more things that you'll either understand or be mystified by. A friend of mine once said some words of wisdom to me, it was "when you change, everything changes". How true. I keep changing for the better.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
The Past is So Unforgiving.......
The title is actually a lyric to a song I heard recently. Of course, this also channels another favorite lyric of mine, which is, "the past ain't even worth livin' in, it's just a nail that keeps gettin' driven in". How true. But you know, as a human condition, I think we all are drawn to the past somehow. Common knowledge tells us that now is the only time. That is also true. We are not living in the past or the future but the "now".
Still, that doesn't mean that I don't miss people. I do. And all the connections and good times seem to fade in the mist because of circumstances or things that intrude on our lives. I sometimes feel very sad and very deeply over the times that have passed. But, you know, maybe the thought of me crosses their minds and they remember a good thing. I do know that I think of them.
Of late, I think my mind has gone through a revelation of sorts. I think it's due to change. Of growth of myself outside of the things that would hold me back. I suppose what I'm saying is that what I once thought was a tragedy in my life is actually a blessing. I didn't know it at the time. And, if I can follow through on this thought, what you think is best for yourself is not always what the universe intends for you.
A lot of realizations have come to me from the sub-concious to the concious mind this year. It keeps happening. And each time I inch a little bit closer to my higher self. It makes you see wider and beyond the crazy human limitations we all have to go through. You come away from this a bit more wiser and grateful for the treats, and yes trials, that face everyone.
Admittedly, my manic depression prevented me from moving on. But I finally got to the point whereby I can laugh at the attempts to make me feel guilty, or to take blame, or to categorize me as less than anyone else. It's tiring. I suppose I got tired of people who think, or impose their own views of who they think I am. They know nothing. And I finally convinced myself of the worth of my own vision.
I have moved on, you know, to that plateau whereby you can see everything. Where one is not confined by guilt or fear. And, it's ok if I'm here seeing it by myself. Eventually everyone will reach this wavelength. It's hard to explain vision, or what you know juxtaposed to someone else's take on things. Someone long ago told me that it depends on perception. And, yes it really does. But, in my case, I have seen manipulation of perception time and time again. I prefer to be real, and not play games at your expense. Believe me, I suppose I missed that learning a long time ago. I only wish I had the chance to correct some perceptions of me. But, life will certainly reveal all.
In the meanwhile, there is a reason why we love the people we've loved in life. It doesn't become less valid the more you live. It can change certainly. But you must grant that freedom because, even painful at times, that is still love in a way.
I am too old to carry grudges to the grave. I wish nothing but happiness to all I've known, to all I know now, and to all I'll know in the future. It is the best within me and I feel glad I got here.
Still, that doesn't mean that I don't miss people. I do. And all the connections and good times seem to fade in the mist because of circumstances or things that intrude on our lives. I sometimes feel very sad and very deeply over the times that have passed. But, you know, maybe the thought of me crosses their minds and they remember a good thing. I do know that I think of them.
Of late, I think my mind has gone through a revelation of sorts. I think it's due to change. Of growth of myself outside of the things that would hold me back. I suppose what I'm saying is that what I once thought was a tragedy in my life is actually a blessing. I didn't know it at the time. And, if I can follow through on this thought, what you think is best for yourself is not always what the universe intends for you.
A lot of realizations have come to me from the sub-concious to the concious mind this year. It keeps happening. And each time I inch a little bit closer to my higher self. It makes you see wider and beyond the crazy human limitations we all have to go through. You come away from this a bit more wiser and grateful for the treats, and yes trials, that face everyone.
Admittedly, my manic depression prevented me from moving on. But I finally got to the point whereby I can laugh at the attempts to make me feel guilty, or to take blame, or to categorize me as less than anyone else. It's tiring. I suppose I got tired of people who think, or impose their own views of who they think I am. They know nothing. And I finally convinced myself of the worth of my own vision.
I have moved on, you know, to that plateau whereby you can see everything. Where one is not confined by guilt or fear. And, it's ok if I'm here seeing it by myself. Eventually everyone will reach this wavelength. It's hard to explain vision, or what you know juxtaposed to someone else's take on things. Someone long ago told me that it depends on perception. And, yes it really does. But, in my case, I have seen manipulation of perception time and time again. I prefer to be real, and not play games at your expense. Believe me, I suppose I missed that learning a long time ago. I only wish I had the chance to correct some perceptions of me. But, life will certainly reveal all.
In the meanwhile, there is a reason why we love the people we've loved in life. It doesn't become less valid the more you live. It can change certainly. But you must grant that freedom because, even painful at times, that is still love in a way.
I am too old to carry grudges to the grave. I wish nothing but happiness to all I've known, to all I know now, and to all I'll know in the future. It is the best within me and I feel glad I got here.
Friday, January 13, 2012
The Final Auld Lang Syne? Maybe.....
Dear Reader:
I have tried to adhere to my goal of writing blogs from time to time. However, it never works out. I suppose it boils down to writing something really significant and never really achieving that. Anyway, who cares. Trying to second guess yourself becomes a bigger chore than the writing. I deleted my former blogs and have chosen this one as the one that will finally put to rest all the things in my life that have troubled me for so long.
The thoughts have continously bounced around in my head for a long, long time and there is a need to move on. In essence, I am leaving anger, frustration, victimization, struggle and my former self behind. I am moving towards a higher spiritual plain. I have to. Being mired in the past and other people's games is really no healthy place to be. I have been guilty of caring too much and i just can't do it anymore. It always winds up hurting me. But, I don't want to become overly serious in writing this. My goal is to be objective and not to judge anyone. That frees me to a point that I can relate the following from a new point of view. I've earned that much at least.
The following is a true experience that I've been through. It's not made up. A long time ago I was accused of being a walking time bomb, a threat, crazy and whatever label you want to put on somebody for your own purpose. Perhaps it's to convince the world how right and justified you are by doing what you do, or acting as you do. It's o.k. I was forced to go through an extremely stressful time. And I do suffer from emotional problems which made it more traumatic. But, I would never think of hurting anyone physically. It has never been part of my make up. However, one is never protected from enforced insanity but I've survived it somehow.
I have tried, through the years, to move this situation to a better place only to be struck down time and time again. As you might have guessed, this led to a lot of anger and frustration. Feeling I had been taken advantage of, I proceeded to try and break free of it. Unfortunately, it was never my intent to hurt anyone. But, I reacted from being hurt. It was my mistake and relying on our institutions to act in fairness was a mistake from the beginning. Thus, one learns.
The following, although it seems way out there and you may doubt my sanity, is the truth and very real. I think that the reason why the unrelenting accusations of my mental state, was so that you don't believe this. Whether you do or not is your own choice. My goal is to finally get this out of my system and move on.
There is a saying, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions", and, take my word, it is true. If you were to tell me the hell would last over 20 years I would probably say never. However, it did and this is a good-bye to all that. Anyway, let's get to the facts, shall we? After all, you don't have all day to read this and forgive me for taking up your time. But, it's worth it as you shall see. There is much more to this situation, however, if I tell you all aspects we would be here forever. Thus, I will give you the main points.
This summer, I wrote to my ex brother-in-law requesting a talk with him. I didn't receive a yes or a no, only no response. I am not surprised because of all the training he received not to communicate. However, it's his loss since it would have been the most interesting and eye opening talk he'd get in his life. Regardless, what I wanted to tell him is included here.
Long ago, during a difficult summer, my wife ran away with my children. Admittedly, I suspect she was motivated by fear from someone, but I don't want to belabor the point. So, I came home to find her gone and I just sat there disillusioned and exhausted and defeated. I had tried so hard to communicate with her before this and all I received was silence. Something was wrong, but I didn't know what.
That evening I was alone. The light in the kitchen started blinking erraticaly. I don't know what I thought. Perhaps an electrical problem, but it was strange and eerie. A sense of fear came about. I felt uneasy and uncomfortable with no one there. I did not sleep well that night. I awoke at 6 am and put a cd on to play. After awhile, it strangely stopped dead. After a few hours in the late morning or early afternoon is when the fun began.
All of a sudden I felt this incredible force slam into me. Over and over again. It came in waves and it was all inside. By that I mean it wasn't a physical pushing. I didn't move. It was all felt inside. I tried to shake it off. Since then I believe it was trying to possess me somehow. It eventually stopped but there was a fear and dread that continued for many days. I could not sleep at night. This went on from Saturday until Wednesday. But, I dare not sleep unless this force comes back again.
I spent those days driving my mind to figure all this out. I knew something had been done to her but I just couldn't figure it out. Another fact of note: I wore a crucifix on a chain which was constantly breaking, For some reason, I had to keep that on and was panicky when it kept breaking. I suppose I saw it as a protection. By Monday my body was shaking to a point I could barely speak a sentence. I still stayed in the house until Wednesday when I was so tired and just had to leave the house. I had prayed for an answer and I was somehow compelled to leave.
Enter Michelle:
My sister had made an appointment to meet Michelle on Thursday. But I had to see her sooner than that. Michelle was a psychic and, as I was to learn, a damn good one at that. Long story short, Michelle had dropped to the floor with a brain anuerism and was rushed to the hospital. She was unconcious and almost dead and then was given the choice of coming back. Well, she chose to come back and when awoken found she had a talent which was hard to control. She eventually met a black woman who taught her how to use this new ability.
So, I went to see her. I shook her hand and she immediately screamed in pain like she got an electrical shock. I then went in for a reading. Now Michelle had the ability to read people by putting a piece of paper in her hand with people's names written on it. So I wrote my wife's name and a supposed friend's name on it. She held it in her hand for a few seconds and then, surprised, looked at me and said "how could you have let someone like this into your house"? She then went on, "he rooted her". I didn't exactly know what that was but I will explain later. She then said, "he paid a lot of money to mulatto jamaican voodoo priest to do this". I couldn't believe it. She then went on relaying thoughts in my wife's head and then gave me the knowledge to correct the house situation. In regards to the rooting, she said it had a bitter taste but I was still unsure what it was exactly.
In doing research, I believe that certain articles that a person possesses is taken to this priest, he concocts something, and then it's put in food or drink and given to the intended victim. What it does is bind that person to you. They become addicted to you. And, I believe, you then have some control over that person. I didn't make this up. It's all on the internet.
Michelle then told me what to do when I returned to the house. I had to perform a ritual in order to get "it" out of the house. I was frightened to return, but I did it and it worked. I could finally sleep in the house. So, in essence, I was led to find all this out. I didn't possess the knowledge on my own. Admittedly, this all seems fantastic, but it is true and it did happen.
Even though I had taken care of everything, I still had a wife that proceeded with divorce proceedings against me. Needless to say, I went through hell with this nonsense and furious with a ridiculously stupid court system. I think all the anger I've gone through all these years is because of the fact that nobody spoke to me and, thus, nobody knew it. The trick worked and nobody was wise to it. Quite a magician. And, what is a magician? He's someone who gets you to look at one hand while the other is doing a trick. In this case, everybody looked one way.
Some months later, I found something that was placed, hidden in the house. I found it quite by accident. I spied it out of the corner of my eye. Whatever "it" was, I believe it came from this object. There is much more to what happened, all interesting. But, the most important aspects are now revealed to you.
It ultimately doesn't matter whether or not you believe this. Like I said, it is true. The main thing, for me, is to finally relieve myself of this burden by writing it all down. In this sense, I can let it go. What I have come to find, finally, is that I am at peace with all this. I don't have any issues anymore, or anger with the people involved. It is over and done with and nothing I can do about it. I have been put through the most unpleasant situations over all these years and my triumph has been that I survived it all. I have always wanted things to be better, but there was never a meeting halfway given to me. No matter. I have achieved a place whereby I can't be hurt by this anymore. And it's a nice place to be. I hope you all reach this place, especially those who felt it justified to give me pain all these years. They need it the most.
Thanks for reading this. Now back to washing the clothes and doing chores.....
I have tried to adhere to my goal of writing blogs from time to time. However, it never works out. I suppose it boils down to writing something really significant and never really achieving that. Anyway, who cares. Trying to second guess yourself becomes a bigger chore than the writing. I deleted my former blogs and have chosen this one as the one that will finally put to rest all the things in my life that have troubled me for so long.
The thoughts have continously bounced around in my head for a long, long time and there is a need to move on. In essence, I am leaving anger, frustration, victimization, struggle and my former self behind. I am moving towards a higher spiritual plain. I have to. Being mired in the past and other people's games is really no healthy place to be. I have been guilty of caring too much and i just can't do it anymore. It always winds up hurting me. But, I don't want to become overly serious in writing this. My goal is to be objective and not to judge anyone. That frees me to a point that I can relate the following from a new point of view. I've earned that much at least.
The following is a true experience that I've been through. It's not made up. A long time ago I was accused of being a walking time bomb, a threat, crazy and whatever label you want to put on somebody for your own purpose. Perhaps it's to convince the world how right and justified you are by doing what you do, or acting as you do. It's o.k. I was forced to go through an extremely stressful time. And I do suffer from emotional problems which made it more traumatic. But, I would never think of hurting anyone physically. It has never been part of my make up. However, one is never protected from enforced insanity but I've survived it somehow.
I have tried, through the years, to move this situation to a better place only to be struck down time and time again. As you might have guessed, this led to a lot of anger and frustration. Feeling I had been taken advantage of, I proceeded to try and break free of it. Unfortunately, it was never my intent to hurt anyone. But, I reacted from being hurt. It was my mistake and relying on our institutions to act in fairness was a mistake from the beginning. Thus, one learns.
The following, although it seems way out there and you may doubt my sanity, is the truth and very real. I think that the reason why the unrelenting accusations of my mental state, was so that you don't believe this. Whether you do or not is your own choice. My goal is to finally get this out of my system and move on.
There is a saying, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions", and, take my word, it is true. If you were to tell me the hell would last over 20 years I would probably say never. However, it did and this is a good-bye to all that. Anyway, let's get to the facts, shall we? After all, you don't have all day to read this and forgive me for taking up your time. But, it's worth it as you shall see. There is much more to this situation, however, if I tell you all aspects we would be here forever. Thus, I will give you the main points.
This summer, I wrote to my ex brother-in-law requesting a talk with him. I didn't receive a yes or a no, only no response. I am not surprised because of all the training he received not to communicate. However, it's his loss since it would have been the most interesting and eye opening talk he'd get in his life. Regardless, what I wanted to tell him is included here.
Long ago, during a difficult summer, my wife ran away with my children. Admittedly, I suspect she was motivated by fear from someone, but I don't want to belabor the point. So, I came home to find her gone and I just sat there disillusioned and exhausted and defeated. I had tried so hard to communicate with her before this and all I received was silence. Something was wrong, but I didn't know what.
That evening I was alone. The light in the kitchen started blinking erraticaly. I don't know what I thought. Perhaps an electrical problem, but it was strange and eerie. A sense of fear came about. I felt uneasy and uncomfortable with no one there. I did not sleep well that night. I awoke at 6 am and put a cd on to play. After awhile, it strangely stopped dead. After a few hours in the late morning or early afternoon is when the fun began.
All of a sudden I felt this incredible force slam into me. Over and over again. It came in waves and it was all inside. By that I mean it wasn't a physical pushing. I didn't move. It was all felt inside. I tried to shake it off. Since then I believe it was trying to possess me somehow. It eventually stopped but there was a fear and dread that continued for many days. I could not sleep at night. This went on from Saturday until Wednesday. But, I dare not sleep unless this force comes back again.
I spent those days driving my mind to figure all this out. I knew something had been done to her but I just couldn't figure it out. Another fact of note: I wore a crucifix on a chain which was constantly breaking, For some reason, I had to keep that on and was panicky when it kept breaking. I suppose I saw it as a protection. By Monday my body was shaking to a point I could barely speak a sentence. I still stayed in the house until Wednesday when I was so tired and just had to leave the house. I had prayed for an answer and I was somehow compelled to leave.
Enter Michelle:
My sister had made an appointment to meet Michelle on Thursday. But I had to see her sooner than that. Michelle was a psychic and, as I was to learn, a damn good one at that. Long story short, Michelle had dropped to the floor with a brain anuerism and was rushed to the hospital. She was unconcious and almost dead and then was given the choice of coming back. Well, she chose to come back and when awoken found she had a talent which was hard to control. She eventually met a black woman who taught her how to use this new ability.
So, I went to see her. I shook her hand and she immediately screamed in pain like she got an electrical shock. I then went in for a reading. Now Michelle had the ability to read people by putting a piece of paper in her hand with people's names written on it. So I wrote my wife's name and a supposed friend's name on it. She held it in her hand for a few seconds and then, surprised, looked at me and said "how could you have let someone like this into your house"? She then went on, "he rooted her". I didn't exactly know what that was but I will explain later. She then said, "he paid a lot of money to mulatto jamaican voodoo priest to do this". I couldn't believe it. She then went on relaying thoughts in my wife's head and then gave me the knowledge to correct the house situation. In regards to the rooting, she said it had a bitter taste but I was still unsure what it was exactly.
In doing research, I believe that certain articles that a person possesses is taken to this priest, he concocts something, and then it's put in food or drink and given to the intended victim. What it does is bind that person to you. They become addicted to you. And, I believe, you then have some control over that person. I didn't make this up. It's all on the internet.
Michelle then told me what to do when I returned to the house. I had to perform a ritual in order to get "it" out of the house. I was frightened to return, but I did it and it worked. I could finally sleep in the house. So, in essence, I was led to find all this out. I didn't possess the knowledge on my own. Admittedly, this all seems fantastic, but it is true and it did happen.
Even though I had taken care of everything, I still had a wife that proceeded with divorce proceedings against me. Needless to say, I went through hell with this nonsense and furious with a ridiculously stupid court system. I think all the anger I've gone through all these years is because of the fact that nobody spoke to me and, thus, nobody knew it. The trick worked and nobody was wise to it. Quite a magician. And, what is a magician? He's someone who gets you to look at one hand while the other is doing a trick. In this case, everybody looked one way.
Some months later, I found something that was placed, hidden in the house. I found it quite by accident. I spied it out of the corner of my eye. Whatever "it" was, I believe it came from this object. There is much more to what happened, all interesting. But, the most important aspects are now revealed to you.
It ultimately doesn't matter whether or not you believe this. Like I said, it is true. The main thing, for me, is to finally relieve myself of this burden by writing it all down. In this sense, I can let it go. What I have come to find, finally, is that I am at peace with all this. I don't have any issues anymore, or anger with the people involved. It is over and done with and nothing I can do about it. I have been put through the most unpleasant situations over all these years and my triumph has been that I survived it all. I have always wanted things to be better, but there was never a meeting halfway given to me. No matter. I have achieved a place whereby I can't be hurt by this anymore. And it's a nice place to be. I hope you all reach this place, especially those who felt it justified to give me pain all these years. They need it the most.
Thanks for reading this. Now back to washing the clothes and doing chores.....
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