For a long time I believed that there was something lacking in me because so many would be unhappy because I didn't live up to their expectations. So what do they do? They blame me, of course, for all their miserableness. I did not know I held that much power. But, living and learning has brought me to the realization that it's all a bunch of nonsense. I am not guilty of anything, and certainly not obligated to anyone's judgement of me. I have been amazed on how one-sided or one minded people can be without even deciding what their own mind dictates. Certainly, they must have some introspection as well. But don't bet on it.
Over time, I have spoken to a lot of spiritual people. I've gained a lot of insight into myself. What I have learned is that I am a good soul and pretty much have kept my karma in good standing. I know some others haven't, but that is not a joy to me, just a pity. You know, if I could open up the doors to people who have themselves locked into a cell (real or imaginary) I would. However, as many have told me, you cannot save others, only yourself. This is true and, unfortunately, you really can't transmit knowledge of what you've learned to another. They have to find out things by themself.
I found out that I could never do a good thing according to people who only want to see the bad in me. But, there is not that much bad, so it becomes a puzzle, and one to be solved like so many others that I attempt to understand. I find myself asking myself if my take on things is really delusion or am I really on the right road of truth and clarity? I think it's clarity because, after all, if you approach yourself honestly, your whole world opens up. The people who can't do this fool themselves and, think they are o.k. with their own illusions. They aren't really. They just want you to think they are.
Anyway, I will end this now and return when I have more tidbits for you to consider. Until then, be happy. You have a right to this you know.
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