I had another post but deleted it because it sounded too much like the previous one. And, if there is something I do NOT want to do is go over the same ground twice. After all, do you want to read what you've read before? Then again, I am older and I do have a forgetful brain now and then so forgive me if I lapse.
There are a few things I should relate in this one though. I have discovered, through trial and error, that I am very susceptible when it comes to negative energy surrounding me. That is, it is like a poison. I never realized that, through many years in my life, my depressions were really reinforced by the negative vibrations people were giving off in my direction. Now that I've discovered that, I view my past, present, and future with more clarity. It's hard to explain. But you get wiser to what's going on and, that doesn't mean it's good, but you can avoid the bad if you know what I mean.
I am thrown by life sometimes. I see too much of what I don't value succeeding somehow. Could I be wrong? I mean, I have never been one to be a user, in other words, take all I can get from someone and then discard them like yesterday's newpaper. I see so much manipulation out there and people who do this. Did I miss something in my upbringing? Is there something wrong with my morality? Should I be out there taking advantage instead of valuing people, wishing them the best, and everybody being happy? I suppose it boils down to what some people want and what they are willing to do to get it and everyone else be damned. I have never seen that as an admirable trait but, then again, that is just me.
I was involved, for a period of time, in a game called "you hurt me, I hurt you" and round and round ad infinitum. I found out that no matter how justified and right you are, your actions are open to projecting to people just how horrible you are. It's manipulation of course, but sometimes we inadvertantly allow us to fall victim to this. It's an abuse of vision, of course, but to allow it to go on unquestioned is to deny just how inappropriate it is. Thus, I think the wiset thing to do, for me, is not to care about what others think. If they are misled to think what others want them to think, then far be it from me to burst the illusion. But, there is something more at work which, I will probably discuss at some later date.
The point for me, which is very crucial at this point, is to be non-judgemental and try to understand the world and why people do things the way they do. I am interested in psychology and have read many things that clarify human mysteries. I do this to better myself and to understand. But, I want to reach a level whereby all of this craziness in the world is outsie of myself. To reach a spiritual and mental place whereby all this doesn't matter and I am free to pursue a higher mind. Mind you, it is not easy. Life will give you many trials but the point is to move forward at any cost. I am over being used, and I love it. Thus, the place I arrived at is getting better and better, especially since my mind has progressed way beyond where I used to be. Anyway, I will be back and probably write more things that you'll either understand or be mystified by. A friend of mine once said some words of wisdom to me, it was "when you change, everything changes". How true. I keep changing for the better.
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